Will Work for Food

Did you ever see a bunch of computer technicians galloping en masse down a hallway?  If so, chances are good that there is food at the destination site.  Yep, something about being a tech brings an appreciation of, and extraordinary desire for, free food…especially junk food.  The phrase, “there’s pizza left from the lunch meeting” has approximately the same effect on techs that the phrase “there’s free money” has on AIG executives.  We come a runnin’!!!

If you have computer problems and have pizza, hot wings, cake, cookies, finger sandwiches, etc. you will not only have a tech at your system immediately, he’ll bring friends.  They’ll all bring friends, too.  Your office will look like a Star Trek convention in approximately 15 seconds.  Plus, since they feel guilty about their Pavlovian response to leftovers, they will get your system working quickly…so they can get to the food, of course.

At a software publishing company years ago, there were three guests of the owner, and an assistant picked up plate lunches for them.  When the lunches arrived, they were placed in the lunchroom, and the assistant went to alert the visitors.  When they arrived approximately five (5) minutes later, there was nothing but scraps left.  Kind of embarrassing.  Should have been expected.  In a building full of programmers, technical support, and R&D people, some innocent techs wandered in, saw food, and devoured it. (True story, by the way.)

The above situation is basically the same as leaving an unguarded baked ham sitting on a low counter with a Labrador Retriever in the room.  If you’re not guarding it, it must be his. (Woof woof means: My ham!!! My ham!!!)  Same rules apply.  Food (especially leftovers) unguarded, and unlabeled equals fair game. 

The average tech can smell hot wings being opened at a distance of approximately one mile…farther if we’re downwind.  Regardless of being sedentary and unconditioned, we can then cover the distance at a speed that gives rise to teleportation rumors.   In fact, the land speed record was set by a tech from Texas who was told that there was pizza left over from the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders luncheon.  He covered 1200 yards in a shade under 3 seconds.

Okay, maybe I made up that last part.